No more daddy’s lil gurl

Entry kali ni bleh diibaratkan as sambungan entry sebelum ni but I think it’s gonna be more emotional..Sedey sangat arini. Sayu. Coz today it really hits me that i’m now on my own. I only have my husband as the sole provider for the family, dah xleh ngendeng to my dad dah..my dad has really let me go to another individual, my husband to take care of me now. Sedey sangat. Masa nikah tak sayu langsung..skang plak sayu. Pfft.

Actually kalo diikutkan, mende ni kira small matter je. It’s normal for parents bila anak dah besar panjang, dah mendirikan rumahtangga parents will find their own way to find peace and serenity. Its either dorang akan tunaikan umrah or pegi jenjln overseas kan pastu dah tak bwk anak2 yg dah kawin ni kan. Dat is what I got to know today from my bro..they’re going to London masa raya nanti for 10 freaking days and without me. Dumbfounded gila.

Korang akan pk..ala ape la sangat..biarkan jela dorang pegi. No, it’s a big deal to me. I’ve never been separated like this when they go travel overseas. The only time we were separated is when my parents and my lil bro went for Hajj last year. Tu pun sepanjang tempoh 2 bulan tu I was gloomy most of the time coz terasa sangat alone kat bumi Msia ni..dorang nun jauh kat sana. My dad will ALWAYS, ALWAYS bring me coz mmg konsep my family is to travel TOGETHER as one family. Dulu zaman blajar kat Uni, dorang tunggu aku abeh final exam baru we go travelling together. Kalo dah keje pon, aku mesti amik cuti sekali dgn dorang and we go travelling together. This time round, kalo nak cuti 10 hari, aku ada lagi cuti bleh allocate for that 10 days trip, but they din consult me (I knew since a few mths back mmg my dad kepingin nak pegi sana lagi and I begged to go with them but he just laugh it off) skali tgk mmg betul..they’ve already booked the tickets and it’s confirm mereka bertiga akan pegi lagi meninggalkan aku.

My dad and I, despite our differences mcm utara-selatan, timur-barat ni we share a common interest in travelling and satu tempat kat dunia ni yg kitorang tak kisah pegi over and over and over again is London. Again, kalo diikutkan nape la aku nak emo. Aku dah gi sana 6x dah..kalo aku ikut kali ni it’ll be my 7th time..I should be cool with this, but I’m not. Ntahla..rasa sayu mcm whyyyy..??? org lain mungkin la tak terasa sangat coz adik beradik korang jarak umur mungkin dekat, kalo sorang dua ikut parents, korang cam ala tak kisah la..aku ada agenda aku kat cni. Mcm aku dgn adik aku beza 14thn. He’s only 12 yrs old. So, ntahla..deep inside my heart I still think that there is still space for me to ngendeng as their daughter despite being married aku still bole..u know..act like ntah..single? haha.

Alasan dorang..KO DAH KAWIN. LAKI KO NAK LETAK MANA.

Alasan aku..TAKPELA BWK LA DIA SKALI.

Alasan dorang..XBOLE..TIKET MAHAL, KORANG BLM STABIL LAGI. KUMPUL LA DUIT DULU UTK MENDE LAIN, NANTI KALO ADA XTRA DUIT KORANG GI LA SINI BERDUA JE..

Arrghhh..tension!

Dahla dorang pegi masa raya ke-4, masih fresh lagi Syawal tu. Aku baru je pasang mode nak sedondon dgn sang suami masa raya pertama, pastu dah start berangan pegi raya skali sepanjang minggu raya satu kuarga and my dad dok kenalkan menantu baru dia..skali tgk huh raya ke 4 korang dah gone? kite kan slalue beraya sampai raya ke 5..raya ke 6 baru parents balik ke Penang..nape tahun ni jadi camnii?

Mmg potong stim betul..hancus je perasaan aku ni. Dahla aku skang kat Penang..rasa cam nak lari balik KL je tp buat masa ni kena la berlakon dat “I’m fine with it” walaupun my bro dok curik2 pandang muka aku and he said “sian plak tgk kakak camni”. Aku without thinking long cakap “mmg patut dikesiankan ponnn”

Sigh..tahla…tatau nak cakap pe. I hate being an adult. Period.

10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dizzyfly
    Jul 10, 2009 @ 15:53:59

    hah? ok. terkejut. daddy’s lil gurl? ko tak pernah nak guna that term on yrself ok. selalu ko ckp aku yg mcm gitu. well, i guess beneath that strong facade, there will always be that lil girl. sbr ok. be strong. like i said before in my posting,
    it’s time for the little bird to venture it’s own world…

    Reply

    • newlifenewbeginning
      Jul 10, 2009 @ 22:50:39

      dizzyfly: mmg aku taknah guna in front of ppl..i keep it to myself..tapi tu la..sigh. biasala aku..i can put a brave face, tp dlm hati..:(

      Reply

  2. Naja
    Jul 10, 2009 @ 23:34:03

    yela yela..aku masuk je without fail beb! :p
    Kalo ko buat follower part sure2 sure top 5 follower punye :p
    Cuma aku tak tinggal komen je lately..stress huh..stress nak adapt new env..cam citer ko gak..huhu..kire ape ko citer itu la aku rasa gak..haha

    latest entry ko ni..huhu..sadis okeh! sikit sikit aku ada la terasa jugak sebab guwe anak emas gitu..ko tgk mak pak aku turut aku sampai ke rumah sbb aku cakap aku tak sempat balik..now..life dah lain..malam2 tak leh gosip ngan mak dah..huwaa sure mak aku sedih kan..Eh kite ni cam sedih2 pulak berkahwin ek..orang lain aku tengok girang gumbira je kawin kan..Ha ha ha

    Mieza..aku tau ko sedih..tapi depan hubby ko, ko mesi kaver line kan..Haha nanti dia sedih jugak tau..dia sedih sebab mana la tau nanti dia terpikir..haaa nape wife aku sedih2 kena tinggal dek famliy dia..aku kan ade..nape dia tak hepi ke dengan aku…haaaa ko…jaga jaga cik Salmah..

    Last pesanan dari penaja (pjg giler komen akuh kan,..sempena lama tak komen:p)..
    Pesanan aku : Weh ko period ke? ha ha ha cuba lagi next month! Ha ha ha

    Reply

    • newlifenewbeginning
      Jul 11, 2009 @ 17:18:08

      Naja: org lain tu org lain la..huhu biaq p kat depa la kalo depa nak girang gumbira..huhu aku sayu ni! aku dah kaber line depan hubby aku berminggu2 dah..mlm tadi empangan aku dah pecah huhu nangeh satu gelen baldi kut, tak larat aku nak pendam2 dah. sampai dia siap ckp kalo aku nak ikut dorang takpela..dia tak kisah ditinggalkan which is NOT my point nape aku sayu. aiyak laki aku ni..sepanjang masa aku sayu is how parents aku ni dah move on cepat betul dgn perubahan status aku ni sedangkan im not ready just yet to be an adult hehe.

      ni awat tetibe ke period ni?? tunggu ujung bulan ni..baru aku leh confirm kena cuba laie ke tak haha

      Reply

  3. farah
    Jul 11, 2009 @ 10:26:02

    my sis & i yg dh kawin mmg lain…although kitaorg mmg dh kawin kitaorg still mintak bpk aku sponsor itu ini,certain2 benda la..aku lum mintak lg sbb blum ada pe nk mntk..

    anyway,kakak aku lg la disebabkn aku dpt blaja kt sini die ungkit la die x dpt blaja pun kt sini jd die nk bpk aku sponsor the whole grill kt umah die,bpk aku setuju je la bile dgr rayuan anak di sorg tu…

    mmg bpk aku ckp klu dh kawin,xdpt la die nk sponsor pape lg tp klu kitaorg tarik muke skit,die cair la…hahaha…

    mmg kesian kt die tp klu die x spend duit kt kitaorg,die akan spend duit kt pakcik aku yg kaki kais duit die…mak aku lg support kitaorg mintak itu ini sbb xnk die spend kt org lain yg x gune…

    stiap kali bpk aku ckp nk gi sana sini,empat2 ekor pmpn kt umah tu ckp nk ikut…hahaha..aku peduli pe dh kawin ke x…

    Reply

    • newlifenewbeginning
      Jul 11, 2009 @ 17:14:55

      Farah:🙂 if that’s the style for ur fam, kire ko mmg bertuah gile. aku ni mmg dah tade luxury camtu dah..which is hard to grasp at times especially when it comes to something that you really want badly..which in my case is togetherness. Skang sume dah disperse sana sini huhu sedey.

      Reply

  4. andreeeeea
    Jul 13, 2009 @ 21:42:10

    we never really realize how much we miss being with our family till they aren’t available for us to “take for granted’. it’s alright, mieza, to feel left out. soon you and your family will be able to adapt till you all reach a certain balance that’s comfortable. it’s just the awkwardness now for both sides as you all adjust. i’m sure it’s prolly weird for your parents to not have you in their plans too. no worries k, give it all time🙂

    Reply

    • newlifenewbeginning
      Jul 14, 2009 @ 09:09:51

      Andrea: yeah…the word adapting is like a routine now for me..huhu. i guess i just have to go with the flow of things now🙂

      Reply

  5. Twiggy
    Jul 14, 2009 @ 15:00:37

    owh i so know what you mean. it was worse off for me last raya. my parents and my sister were away in the UK. They were there as my sister had to register herself into University. It was my first raya alone, as a wife, with a whole different family. SO not used to everyone else, the whole thing was overwhelming, and i think the husband just took for granted that I would adapt to everything. In the end i burst into tears at one point in time.

    and this raya, i won’t be with my family, AGAIN. sebab confinement time is at my in-law’s. sigh.

    Reply

    • newlifenewbeginning
      Jul 14, 2009 @ 15:13:19

      Twiggy: yeah..i remembered your posting last year about Raya..it must have been really, really weird kan having to always have a plastic smile on your face when your mind wanders off 13000km away to UK hehe. But then again, the hubby needs to play a major role when we’re sensitive like this..but hmm..the husband always take things for granted that we’re fineee..rite?

      Reply

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