I have been in a very awkward situation these past few days ever since I got a call from my ex-supervisor last week regarding the job interview that I went through a month ago (refer to my entry regarding the interview). All these while, I have been communicating on and off with him regarding the job because I wanted to have a clearer view on what the jobscope is all about. I didn’t know that the vacancy was in his department so my intention was just to dig up some stuff about the job and that’s it. I didn’t know what happened after the interview because the interviewer said it would only take them 2-3 days for them to make up their mind but as weeks passed and no news was heard, I’d assume that I did not get the job.
If I were to say that I didn’t really care about whether I get the job or not is not so true because
a) I wanted to know whether I can enter the marketing world and this was my first chance to prove that it wasn’t merely angan2 semata2..maybe I do have marketing skills
b) I didn’t really care much about it at first, but it was my 2nd attempt applying for a job in that company and I wanted to know aku ni mmg bebetul tak layak nak masuk company ni ke or did I lack something during my 1st attempt which I could improve the 2nd time round ke..basically I was curious. So if 1st time tak dpt, 2nd time pon sama, I’d just take it that I have no luck with this company and I can’t prove that I’m worth taking.
c) I wanted to know my value, how much am I worth because I raised the bar for the salary, so I wanted to see whether this particular company can be up to par with my expectations or not salary and benefit wise.
So..back to the story. The ex-supervisor called asking me whether anybody from HR called me or not. I said i wasn’t sure because the day before, i had received a miscall from that company..tak sempat angkat keje dah start menimbun..so malas la nak layan. It turns out that I got the job. I was surprised. Very surprised. And instead of the outdoor marketing concept that I was briefed about during the interview, it turned out to be a sales support and account management workscope which is very, very related to my previous job which was my strength. Then i got the whole story about the vacancy, rupenye ex-supervisor dah beriye2 ckp kat boss die about me, his boss was the one who interviewed me. Ex-supervisor already kipas2 him tah bape horse power tah die guna and gave his own recommendation that I should belong in this type of job not outdoor marketing. Sigh, sgt terharu ok die go all out to recommend me. Tak sangka.
Then the rollercoaster ride starts. The next day, one of the HR managers I think called me up regarding the job offer, spoke very long on the phone explaining me about the benefits and how much they are willing to offer me (salary still not up to par, but more than what I expected..RM120 lesser than my current salary). I asked her to give me 2 days to think about it. That 2 days took 4 days for me haha dalam aku dok happy2 balik Penang, at the same time pale otak aku dok pk nak ke tanak keje ni, nak ke tanak. Usually it’s so easy for me to turn down a job that I’m not interested in but bile kenangkan balik ape yg ex-supervisor tu dah buat for me, smgt call and sms to keep me updated..rasa mcm adeh terhutang budi la plak kan. Dahla aku ckp bagi aku 2 hari nak pk but dlm 2 hari tu semangat lagi calling2 kate nak antar boring medical check up la nak antar employment letter la..malas nak layan punya pasal again i just said, antar je laa i will look at it later.
Deep down, I already made up my mind NOT to join the company. I somewhat happy here. Bukan happy pasal environment ke ape ke, it’s just that this is somewhat what I am looking for, a STRESS FREE JOB. Although what i’m doing here is just validating and processing orders, approving and rejecting stuff, sending e-mails and what nots but rasa mcm ati tu tenang, tak sakit jiwa, tak rasa nak menyumpah, tak pressure pasal KPI reports ke hape. The job is easy and it’s not mind stimulating. I know at my age, i should do something challenging, something brisk, and something aggressive like my previous job but I’ve had it of that world. I like the new world now. When everyone is rushing on the road to clock in at 8.30am, I dun need to rush because I start work at 9am and I leave home early so when i’m on the road i’m not rushing. Although the journey is far, the drive is nice. Sgt menenangkan hati along the highway..takyah nak risau pape. If i accepted the job, it will be in Westport, kiri kanan depan blakang lorry container bersimpang siur, tak tenteram jiwa. Kalo skang ni when driving along the Elite highway, bes je tgk kapal terbang taking turns to land. Dahla aku ni suke kapal terbang. It’s hard for me to explain all these to HR why I’m not keen on that job. Dahla sejak keje cni lagi senang nak jumpa kazen aku nak pass kepek, nak jumpa Fara ke Wan ke..lagi senang dari dulu sketnya jenuh.
After 4 days of thinking, I sent the SMS to the HR that I’m turning down the offer when I was in Penang after consulting with my fiancé and my parents. Ingatkan takat tu je citenya. Skali tgk on Tuesday masa baru je sampai office after my long break i received sms from the HR again asking me for a reason why I turned down the offer. Siap tanya is it because of the remuneration package ke aku turn down.. huhu..ntahla pening pale otak nak menyusun ayat yg sesuai. I ignored the sms, continued my day with my usual routine but in the evening i received a call from them again but i did not answer..rasa malas betul laaa nak melayan dorang. Rasa mcm nak ckp DON’T MESS WITH MY MIND laaa..aku dah pening pale nak decide whether to turn down the offer or not korang dok sebok2 calling lagi. So, dah biol punya pasal, I replied her sms on my way back home setelah dpt ilham while driving along jalan yg menenangkan ati tu haha.
Tipu la kalo aku ckp aku tak miss the shipping and logistics world. I miss it okkk..dahla tetiap kali pegi and balik keje confirm akan nampak container Maersk kat jalan, teringat kat bebudak IEL, teringat kat drama and politics dlm department kitorang dulu huhu. Dats y I applied back to be back in the logistics world. Siap turunkan ego ok dari my usual criteria to only work in an MNC and went for a GLC. Tp tu la dis particular company ni..bile korang tanak aku masa aku punya first attempt, bukan main hidung tinggi. Pandang lekeh kat aku, pandang sebelah mata. Bile aku come back with the 2nd attempt fully prepared for the nonsense and hidung tinggi attitude, aku dpt keje tu and korang plak yg terhegeh2 nak kat aku..haa lenkali jgn kutuk org sembarangan. Aih ni la die attitude of our local people here at times. Aku tade niat pon nak balas dendam dgn dorang ni. Aku nak test water je nak tengok whether i have value or not and whether i can tembus that company’s great wall tu je. I have already proved to myself that i can, siap bleh turn down their offer lagi instead of me begging them to give me a job, kirenye mission accomplished la tu. Ahaksss………i dunno exactly what I will do with my career path. I did have the chance to try out the marketing and sales world but I declined for reasons that I hope are worth declining the job. Tgk la camne how this job and life goes for me. If i’m happy with the way I am here, I’ll continue with this path. If not, I will work out a way to find a better path for a better future not only for me but for my family. Amin..